Are you willing to start making some changes? Are you willing to take even some small actions to start creating your freedom? Sometimes after students set a goal, they feel they don’t know where to start. When they ask me about it, I tell them to start anywhere…Just start! Start with the following actions:
Set Realistic Goals
In order to produce the kind of big change that makes you free of being a victim, you start with little changes. Some people make the mistake of expecting too much from themselves, then get easily disappointed and give up. If you’ve spent the last twenty years handling all your conflicts with anger, you will not be a tranquil “saint” tomorrow. It may take a lot of time and work to remove this habit. So, even though you set the elimination of anger as a goal, you also set a smaller realistic goal: Today, during the two hours when I visit my mother in law, I will practice listening to her and responding with love no matter what she says. Or, you could set a goal like this: Today, I will go to the person I threatened and yelled at, apologize, and negotiate a good solution to our problem. Practicing these small changes eventually produces the big change: one day you realize that you don’t respond with anger any more.